Divest: verb di•vest | \dï-vest |
To undress or strip especially of clothing, ornament or equipment.
I wanted to give you guys an inside look, literally, of what's underneath the covering of my prosthesis! I get so many messages from people who are going through similar situations- just starting out, learning to walk, and quite frankly feeling hopeless. Wondering how I've made out and managed a lifestyle with a prosthetic. So we're clear, even some family & friends have never seen whats underneath the covering of my leg. But I said from the very beginning that my goal is to help just ONE person with their journey and confidence and I would feel so rewarded. If I wasn't 100% open and honest with you all then what's really the purpose? So here it is, ME!
First and foremost, I'm approaching 18 years walking with a prosthetic, and no I am nowhere near perfect at it either. I remember so many moments of learning how to walk, physical therapy, the pain and knowledge of it all that took to master being on two feet again. I'm not going to sugar coat anything, it was HARD! There were many times I would cry from the pain, but also from frustration. But what choice did I have? I at least had the option to walk again, so more than anything I was DETERMINED to get it down.
So many things go in to learning how to walk again. I feel like it's more of a mental thing for me. Saying to myself, 'I got this', you know? Being a mom now, I can easily relate it to teaching your children to put one foot in front of the other. I still can't walk up and down the steps like everyone else. I have to take one step at a time.
Running was another thing I've always wanted to learn to do! I still haven't perfected that yet, but I remember the day my physical therapist wanted me to try it out. I was SO scared. I thought to myself, no way! This prosthetic is supposed to hold me up to RUN!? But, once again, I gave myself a little pep talk, stepped out on faith and went for it! Even now I can take a few steps of 'running' but in my opinion you really should have a runners leg to go any type of distance (& i'm working on that as we speak).
To this day, any prosthetic I try on that is a fraction different than mine (the one I'm used too) is a whole new experience. Different muscles get used which ends up resulting in making it feel like (at first) it's harder for me to learn. It's definitely not a scenario of here's a new prosthetic, let me just pop into that one and get on with my day-NO way. Every new piece of equipment results in me having to learn how to walk ALL OVER AGAN. I think people think it's an easy transition, which I try really hard to make it be. But it definitely takes a lot of work to learn how to perfect walking in each prosthetic as they are all individual.
But, here it is. This is MY leg. The one that allows me to do fun things with my kids. To allow me to feel whole, and definitely makes me feel complete. Yea, I like wearing a cover on mine. That's a personal preference because thats what I like. Like I said, some people have seen it completely bare. But rest assured at the end of the day, that prosthetic comes off, and the vulnerability comes out. But that vulnerability also builds the confidence that I've forever yearned for. It makes ME.